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Fortune Kit

Comedia

Fortune Kit

Fortune Kit

308 - Ataraxia Book Club Part 3: Dawn Protocol (ft. Raina Douris)

June 26, 2026 10:21am 1:21

The moral of this story is… If you have mental health issues, if you're depressed, if you feel disconnected from other people, just post on Discord. It's where the most normal people are. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patr...

307 - Ataraxia Book Club Part 2 (ft. Hesse Deni & Raina Douris)

June 19, 2026 10:21am 1:24

Female jinns, Gandhi lasagna, white walls, 2.3 trillion galaxies, and the drug you've never heard of. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song "Sugar We All End Up in Diapers" (from P...

306 - Ataraxia Book Club Part 1 (ft. Hesse Deni & Raina Douris)

June 12, 2026 2:42pm 1:47

Hesse and Raina join us for a spiritual journey into rooms where Garfield went corporate and money was implied. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song "Sugar We All End Up in Diaper...

305 - Mister Hardmaxxing [Patreon Preview]

June 05, 2026 11:20am 2 min

Garfield wants to be Muslim, C+C Music Factory wants to perform for Genghis Khan, and Matt Walsh wants more conservative music even though he's a damn hipster like JD Vance. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patre...

304 - Garfield and the Prophet Mohammad Had Different Thoughts on Mondays

May 29, 2026 10:44am 1:04

The vulnerable narcissist. The shaved GOAT. The Zionist hologram. All this and more on today's Fortune Kit. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

303 - Is It OK to Be a Landlord If You're in a Polucule?

May 15, 2026 11:08am 1:01

The Blue Wiggle tries to beef with Oasis and the Washington Post pivots to the least successful ragebait of all time. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Join the Discord: discord.com/invite...

302 - Pussycat Dolls Should Be Bob Dylan's Backup Singers

May 08, 2026 12:30pm 57 min

Metallica has a whiskey that they blast with their own music to bring out the flavors more better. Soulja Boy has a brand new social media site that looks like 2007. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c...

301 - Don't You Wish Your 2nd Wife Was Hot Like Me [Patreon Preview]

May 01, 2026 9:36am 4 min

Recreate Jimi Hendrix's Last Meal Using This Canned Pantry Staple! Nobody Expected Fast Food to Be This Interesting in 2026! Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/301-dont-you-2nd-157080063

300 - Your Favorite Band is a Psyop (ft. John Semley)

April 24, 2026 10:51am 1:05

John Semley talks with Charles about his viral Geese article for Wired and why your favorite band is not actually a psyop. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: www.youtube.com/wa...

299 - Soulja Girl Baked Potato

April 17, 2026 11:52am 56 min

Alex doesn't want Soulja Boy to get his penis burned by a hot baked potato. Pokemon cards should be currency in prison. Denzel Curry thinks aliens fuck with his music but realistically, there's a good chance that the fir...

298 - The Devil Went Down to Ft. Campbell, TN [Patreon Preview]

April 03, 2026 9:00am 4 min

Bob Dylan starts an AI slop Patreon and a Charlie Daniels hologram is set to play a Tennessee military base. Maybe Sharon Osbourne should make an Ozzy hologram that performs at Zionist events. Full episode on Patreon: ht...

297 - Tong Hawk

March 27, 2026 12:23pm 1:06

Meek Mill's business is moving forward at a high rate thanks to AI. A second MAGA chud has hit the Pussycat Dolls. And Trump & pals should have Grok write an Andrew Jackson musical and perform it at the Trump-Kennedy Mem...

296 - Heavy Metal P%&@tang

March 20, 2026 10:40am 1:01

Vinnie Vincent has an incredible new album available for $2 million. Billy Joel should crash his car through the wall of a Hard Rock Cafe and leave it there so they can preserve it. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: w...

295 - Viral Refrigerator

March 13, 2026 1:31pm 1:05

Ari Emanuel has a dope podcast with his 30-years-younger wife's best friend. And Lil Pump saw rappers doing witchcraft in order to get famous. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song...

294 - Microgoats [Patreon Preview]

March 06, 2026 1:15pm 4 min

We need microscopic goats to make the ultimate milk for Ringo Starr. All mainstream country should be about Minecraft since it's fundamentally about mining and farming and stuff. And kids should be able to buy vapes if t...

293 - Alex Calls AI Soulja Boy

February 27, 2026 10:42am 59 min

Soulja Boy should become a real estate agent. Sony's Tokyo HQ should get better toilet paper. We should follow Freddie Gibbs on tour in order to take a karate lesson before each show. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon:...

292 - I Don't Know How Many Men's Rap Careers I've Tried to Get Off the Ground

February 20, 2026 12:02pm 1:01

Pitbull invents a new world record to break and Jelly Roll's wife writes a book about doing pills with ex-boyfriends who were too lazy to focus on their rap careers. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortun...

291 - The Clash Royale Halftime Show

February 13, 2026 11:56am 58 min

Lil Wayne counterprogrammed the Super Bowl Halftime Show with a performance in Clash Royale with better production values than Turning Point USA. It would have been nice to see Mike Love do "Kokomo" at TP USA but it's sa...

290 - The Diddy Lama [Patreon Preview]

February 06, 2026 12:02pm 5 min

Noted sicko the Dalai Lama takes home his first Grammy and Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney are announced for Turning Point USA's Super Bowl halftime show (source: Facebook). Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/...

289 - James Bond Checks into the James Bond Hotel

January 30, 2026 10:51am 1:02

Charles and Alex talk RXKNephew, Neil Young, Nathen Mazri, and the Pitchfork paywall. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Join the Discord: discord.gg/HabqgJf Listen to Charles' new sh...

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