Congraduations!
In which I deliver my commence address of 2026 which is very reminiscent of 2016. Also if you've never read "Advice, like youth probably just wasted on the young" by Mary Schmich: You should. That's good advice. BUY SOM...
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Chad the Birdcast
Chad the Bird | Cumulus Chicago
Legends, Mummies and Bread
In which I get the recipe for bread baked from a mummy's guts and we all survive a bad recording of my last CLASS! where I discuss the Legend of the Legend of Zelda. Whew, if variety is the spice of life then this one's ...
No Schlitz
In which we say auf wiedersehen to a beer that's not just a legend, not just a king: it's the Schlitz. BILL YOUR LARKIN! GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Featuring the legendary Bill Larkin on vocals and keys. Recorded L...
No Waymo
In which we go every which Waymo but loose! But it's not quite at maximum overdrive. GO TO PROM! GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 5/16/26 in Chicago courte...
Space Jammin
In which I report my findings on the nexus of human space and jam technology. GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF FOLLOW ME Recorded LIVE March 19th 2026 from CLASS! at The Lincoln Lodge in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 F...
Grimace the Hutt
In which I don't talk about Star Wars but instead discuss the Grimace. Follow Zachary Kern GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 5/02/26 in Chicago courtesy of ...
Lego Noir
In which I show my love of writing Birdetective Avian Noir True Crime about Lego and pasta. Yes, I know the plural of Lego is "Lego" but it doesn't SOUND RIGHT when you're a detective like me. GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME ST...
T-Rexcellent Totes
In which I unpack the latest bio fashion: T-Rex Purses. And you wonder why I celebrate 4/20 for a whole week, humans. TAKE A DAZE OFF GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cockt...
Moon Sammies
In which I play catch up after a glorious Four Twentius with two reports, one stoned bird. GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 4/4/26 and 4/11/26 in Chicago co...
The Soochie Boordcast
In which I celebrate the Week of 4/20 blazing budz with my bud Scoochie Boochie: the greatest rapper ever born from a volcano. Spark em and don't lose your lighter. TAKE A DAZE OFF FIND THE SCOOCHIE BOOCHIE GET TO CLASS...
The Pickle Jacket
In which, whilst humans orbit the moon, I'm down here talkin about the KFC Pickle Jacket. Warning: Contains no moons. For reference: https://www.foodbeast.com/news/kfcs-pickle-puffer-is-the-wildest-piece-of-fast-food-me...
Hold Me Closer Robot Dancer
In which we get down and do the robot cuz they're gonna take over and we gotta show em we know the moves! For reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfnIEWpbMU8 GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper M...
Flights of Fancy
In which we get up in the air about fashion in the sky! GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 3/07/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malör...
Love and the TV
In which I'm talking about "Love, American Style" at February's CLASS! live from the Lincoln Lodge. Next CLASS! is March 19th so get your books and get out here! GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE February 19t...
Soccer Seagulls
In which I tell the harrowing tale of the Soccer Seagull of Istanbul. SEE ME IN THIRST FOR ADVENTURE! GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 2/28/26 in Chicago c...
Eat "Fresh"
In which I house a hoagie while I talk about Subway and Communism. SEE ME IN THIRST FOR ADVENTURE! GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 2/21/26 in Chicago cour...
Super Hyperfixation Team GO!
In which I summon CHAD ZERO so he can disassociate and hyperfixate in the face of the current news and together we save our attention spans. GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mil...
Olympic Hard
In which we examine the Olympic bulge of rumors that the ski jumpers are juicing their jumps! But that's just the tip. GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 2/7/...
O'Hara of O'Hare
In which we memorialize the late great Catherine O'Hara. Check out PERCEPTION CHECK from Nick Garcia GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 1/31/26 in Chicago co...
Tree Bomb
In which we're totally talking about the weather, that's it. GET TO ZANIES FEB 3RD GET TO CLASS! BUY SOME STUFF Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 1/24/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q1...